A cup of coffee. A love letter, maybe.

Written By Louise Ramos

You asked me once, “How do you like your coffee?” because I said I’ll be out to buy a cup. And it’s the first time I thought about it. On the way to the cafe.

(It didn’t actually take long. But my brain tends to talk to itself a lot lately. The drive was just 5 minutes. 10 because I took so long picking out a playlist before actually going. Should’ve just walked only if the sun wasn’t burning that day. I wished it would rain. I like the rain. Not as much as after Parasite came out. But I used to unabashedly love it.)

Ah, yes, the coffee. It would depend on where I’m getting it, and what I’m doing for the day. Cold brew in the morning. Something with milk to last me the afternoon. I had a looong Flat White phase. And an Americano phase. A Kopiko 3-in-1 phase! Java Chip was my first ever Starbucks order. I was a grade schooler waiting for the mall to open. I didn’t know what to order but Java Chip sounded cool. The barista was somehow concerned. “There’s 2 shots in this?” and little me just nodded her head. I would want to try out whatever’s recommended if it’s a new place. But I often can’t do the small talk. I’m thankful for friends who ask before I get to order. “I’d have the same.” And I’d get a mocha or something fancy when I feel like I deserve a treat. Today, I don’t feel like I do.

It’s past 10AM and I haven’t had a cup yet. I haven’t done anythingyet. I go back to blaming the lack of coffee in my system. I figured this day is going to be long.

I didn’t send all that to you. I asked what you preferred. Told me you don’t even like coffee much. You’d just get the sweet option. I ended up ordering the mocha.

I went out to buy coffee. I go home holding this terribly sweet thing in my hand. And a cookie. You like cookies. Chocolate chips. The carrot cake slice, more, but they didn’t have it. Please don’t get diabetes.

Said terribly sweet thing made my day better. The day was still long, but better. Bearable.

So every time I go to Bo’s, I would order a hot-mocha-large-no-whipped-cream (because I still don’t like whipped cream no matter how much you did) For a while because of this moment. Then, because I’m used to it. Long after, because I’ve grown to like it.

You made me start getting other drinks without the need for it to be a reward. Which now makes it even harder for me to answer how I like my coffee.

I still have my go-tos, but every once in a while, I get to be one of those people who asks to add sweet cream to their cold brew and maybe even 2 pumps of white mocha syrup. Almond jelly? Why not? On a regular day! Because you told me that I just can. So I do. I could blame you for it and also thank you for it. You made it less about the coffee and more about doing/getting things that make the days better. Not just getting to do things when the days are good.

I wonder what else I ended up liking because people I like liked them. What other things I would not usually do if it weren’t for some kind of interaction. Picking up  others’ bits and pieces, inadvertently taking them with me.

Maybe this is what they mean when they say you are you, but you are also made up of the people you love. Sometimes, even after you stopped loving them.

Maybe not all the time. But every time I see mocha in the menu (which is almost in every cafe menu like ?!?), I think of you.

I like coffee and I liked you, too,
Louise

Happy hearts month. You can download this month’s art and send it to someone you think about all the time.

February things and quick links

This month’s cups so far because life imitates art and art imitates life

  • I gave myself ‘love’ as a prompt for this and it’s always been the same things: coffee and some painfully sweet lyrics. Nothing new to see here. HAHA. Ooh, pink car is a shoutout to EH’s new EP, Strawberry.

Louise Ramos
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