Shoebox
Asian households have this thing where you take off your shoes before entering a house. Mostly for hygienic purposes, sometimes as a counter to superstition; for me, out of habit – just something I grew up with and have always thought was practiced by all. Changing into my house slippers as soon as I get home was something I look forward to doing. Especially after a long day. Sometimes, even when I know the day isn’t over. Walking in, thinking, “I am home.”
When I moved out last year and moved back to our provincial home, I brought my shoe rack with me. My mom was arguing why I wouldn’t take the sofa but I would bring home a wooden rack. I am my mother’s daughter, so I argue back:
One, I do not have space for a sofa in my room.
Two, the rack was collapsible! Don’t you just love that? Like dresses with pockets! I was moving things by myself because there was another rise in COVID cases then. Please don’t make me figure out how I’m gonna fit the sofa, albeit just a two-seater, inside a compact SUV.
Three, I can use the rack for storage.
But mostly, four, I just really had more emotional attachment with the rack. I was so happy getting it from a thrifted / vintage furniture online shop. I had this thing where I would buy house things in the middle of the night when I was stressed. Explains the MANY plates, cups, saucers that never match but are hella cute. Because they make our place looks pretty. It’s nice to go home to a pretty place. The sofa was almost a decade old and was just too worn out FR. But I didn’t say this anymore to spare myself from my mom’s rolling eyes and have her judge my life decisions for the nth time. (If she reads this, love you ma, sorry.)
Ultimately, the rack gets to go home.
It does not hold shoes anymore. I suppose that I keep it because it reminds me of this old home. But I am glad that it has also made a home of itself here.
Cutting all the kwento, I really am just sharing Epik High’s song this month. Shoebox. Its Korean title, 신발장, actually translates to shoe closet. That little space where you leave your outdoor shoes behind before entering your home. My little wooden shoe rack.
Shoebox was the song (and same titled album) that laminated my love for Epik High when it was released in 2014. I remember the exact thing I was doing when it was released – sitting through my CE16 lab class, Ma’am Imee, our prof, wasn’t there but we still had to perform an experiment unsupervised. I just wanted to go home so I could have a listen party for one. Then maybe write a long post in Tumblr about it. Why I recall weirdly random moments and never what I need to remember, I’ll never know.
When you think of a shoe closet, you freaking think a closet for shoes. But here are my favorite artists casually finding the analogy between that and leaving all of the burden of your day behind. Just singing about going home to what matters the most, the reason why you were out the whole day, reason for your every day (using Tablo’s daughter’s name, Haru [which translates to “day”] as part of the lyrics, too!) I just think GENIUS. I have expounded, time and time again, how very much I am in love with how Tablo’s brain works. He would always be my immediate answer to the question “Which celebrity do I want to have a meal with?” The conversation would be wonderful! (But God knows I will probably just be frozen, too stunned to speak the entire time.)
The more I type about it, the more I am aware that my words would be nothing compared to just listening to their music. I guess all I really wish for is for my days to end like how the song ends,
To take off my worn out shoes.
To leave all my footsteps and footprints.
In this shoebox here,
Louise
It’s officially been a year since this newsletter was released. (Happy birthday! A whole year?!??) I am genuinely amazed by the fact that I made personal art every month. It’s not much for some but it is for me. The first letter I sent out was also a shallow dive on another one of EH’s song, Eternal Sunshine. Maybe every October letter will be for them. A birthday tradition. I’ve always wanted to have a birthday tradition.
This month’s art is really a manifestation that I would see Epik High live next month. Oh to finally hear Eternal Sunshine live!! I will 100%, for sure, cry the moment they open with the words “I’m here.”
& for you that has been here, whether for the year, for a few months, or recently, THANK YOU. Thank you for reading. Thank you for just being.
October kwento, things, and quick links
I would want to list more things but I am cutting it short and just photodumping. I just wanna say this month was very memorable.
Sticker Con was FUN. It was really so nice seeing everyone again. Made me happy about getting back in the merch life. Makes me want to continue to make more.
Kyungsoo in Bad Prosecutor is definitely SERVING. Mahal na mahal ko siya, ang galing galing niya. I’ve stood by my opinion that his best role was in It’s Okay, That’s Love but this is fighting its way up there real damn well.
Laughing so much because of Gaus Electronics – back in the Kdrama life after what feels like SOOOO long. Sobrang OA pero sobrang nakakatuwa. I miss this type of shows. And the commercial post-creds scenes take me out every time. Please watch for absolute entertainment and just the right dose of kilig.
Sa sobrang kilig ko, ito ang playlist ko for the month. Starts with Shoebox ofc!
this month’s kalulungan entry, byeee~
